Tuesday, August 11, 2009

my boy

As shown from my last post, I've been having a particularly rough time these past few weeks with my eldest son. Today, I realized that no matter what, I need to love Rowan how he is right now, in this very moment. Regardless of when the Lord lifts the fog, he is my son now, just the way he is. I can continue to contend for his recovery, and I will never give up until we see it. But it dawned on me that if I dont enjoy him as he is right now, I will have missed a million opportunities to enjoy him. So I sat down and wrote him a letter, since he can't really understand my words right now very well. Here is a piece of it:

"For Rowan:
I love the way you love to be wrestled.
I love how you laugh when I tickle your face with my hair.
I love how you crack up when I come to check on you before you fall alseep at night.
I love when you sit on my lap, look straight into my eyes and then squeeze me as tight as you can.
I love how playful you are.
I love that you love your Daddy.
I love your smile.
I love when you hug your little brother and sister simply because you want to.
I love that you love to jump.
I love that you never lie.

I will never stop loving you."

My son is so beautiful and wonderful. Pray for Joel and I, that we don't forget to be patient and longsuffering, loving our kids unconditionally at all times!


Lora said...

that was so sweet, jenn. i am so proud of you, friend. you are an amazing mother! Love you, lora

Jessa said...

Jenn, that is a great post. Even parents of "normal" kids need that reminder. It's too easy to get caught up in the everyday of life or the frustration of the stages kids go through and forget to love our kids constantly! Thanks for the reminder! (and no offense meant by the "normal" - just wasn't sure how to put it - "without disabilities?") Love ya!

David Carey said...

Gosh, that's good. Liz and I will keep you guys in our prayers. Lord, release a grace on them for the present and a steady hope for the future!

Jenn said...

thanks friend

Jess: thanks! you can use the word "normal" since I have two of them as well. :) in the autism community, they use the word "neurotypical" but thats a mouthful sometimes hehe.

Dave: thanks! we love you guys :-)

Tori Marshall said...

Wow! Good thing I wasn't wearing makeup. That was so sweet. And so are you Mrs. Jenn!

susanna internicola said...

AWESOME JENN! thankyou for the reminder--this is a revelation from God!

Matthew said...

LOVED this so much Jenn!!!

Jenn said...

matthew, who are you?